From
birth, your child is an individual who deserves to be treated with respect and
love. Be present and supportive, not intrusive;
Be
attentive to and responsive to your child’s needs;
When
you are in public with your child, ignore people’s reactions to your behaviour
with your child. Just be present with your child;
When
possible follow your child’s needs. When your child is in danger or putting
someone else in danger, take charge;
When
your child is crying attend to them sensitively. Each time. You can never spoil
a child with love;
Objects
can never replace the importance of your presence for the child. Be with your
child. You do not need toys to play together;
When
spending time with your child try to be fully present mentally and physically;
When
the child is very young, focus on playing games and not on the child’s learning
to read/write. They will have time, space, and pressure to develop those skills
as they get older. Now it is their time to explore life through games.
When
correcting the child’s behaviour, focus on the behaviour. Do not blame the
child. “When you throw food on the floor you make me angry because it is wasted
food and then I have to clean it up. If you do not want to eat that food just
leave it in your plate” is better than “you’re such a difficult child! I
hate you!”;
Always
give reasons for asking your child to stop a behaviour which is annoying you
and discuss your reasons with your child. “Because
I said so” is not a valid reason. Your role is to support your child’s
learning and development, and not to give orders;
Consequences
are important to give according to your child’s behaviour. Praise, hug, pat
your child on the shoulder when your child behaves well. When your child
misbehaves, give an immediate consequence which is related to the child’s
behaviour. Importantly, in both cases, explain the situation to the child and
why they are receiving the consequence, positive or negative;
When
no negative choices are given to a child for misbehaving, the child will not
learn to be responsible for his/her actions, will find it harder to understand
and keep to rules in a game, and risks being isolated and/or ignored by his/her
peers;
When
no positive choices are given to a child for good behaviour, the child will
grow constantly seeking approval from outsiders, feeling that they are not
doing enough.
Take
time to yourself! Do something you love doing. Relax! A child being part of
your life does not mean that your own development stops. Plus, the more
fulfilled you are, the more present you will be for your child;
Your
child deserves good quality time with both you and your partner. It is the
responsibility of both of you to spend quality time with the child;
Take
time as a couple to look at each other, to discuss, to go on dates! Having a
child also has an impact on your relationship. Take care of it – keep it alive!;
As
your child grows, it is important that you and your partner discuss certain
issues the child might soon be approaching you with, before s/he does (e.g. Time curfews, dress
style, choice of hobbies, choice of friends, drug and alcohol use, sexuality, etc.). In this way you and your partner have time to
compromise on how to deal with situations as they arise and keep in touch with each other’s thoughts.
If
you are going shopping, take a snack the child likes, or even a game the child
enjoys. This will help to distract the child when s/he wants something off the
shelf, and makes the shopping experience a more enjoyable one for both of you. For older children,
involve them in the shopping experience – it can be fun and educational at the
same time. They can help you choose the ingredients for the family dinner, you
can do counting games, additions of product prices, and help you sort out the
shopping once back home;
When
your child starts crawling, take precautions. Cover plug sockets, keep sharp objects
out of reach. If you have valuable objects which might break, put them away;
When
your child starts looking around, enhance your child’s exploration by carrying him/her
around, showing and naming objects, their colours, and their function. If the
objects are dangerous, let the child know and explain why;
- When objects are dangerous, explain their use
and why they are dangerous to the child. Then, if the child is too young, show
them the expression of pain when touching the object. This helps the child
understand that that object is dangerous. When the child has a higher
understanding of language, explain the consequences to the child and also
inform the child that s/he might have to go to the doctor if they get hurt from
touching the object.